Monday, May 11, 2009
tell me what to do.
emotional.
as like what my title says - tell me what to do.
again, and ya, back to again, its coming back to bother me. and this time round i dont know what i should do. after escaping from the question from dad about me going to hk, i tried to make myself clear, i want to finish everything up, including that bond, which adds up to 7 more years. thats gonna be a long time. maybe too long, time wouldn't even wait and give me a chance to go or what so ever.
HOW? tell me HOW.
parents are gonna let me stay in SG (i guess). glad, but? what comes next.. the house, the rabbits, the maid, MY 2 IMMATURE older siblings.. im not indirectly implying that im more mature than them. but their thoughts are stupid and immature.. my bro - shout, shout, scold, scold and violence, i had to give in to him. my elder sis - with her insanity, i dont know what to do.. and now my maid? she dosent want to work in my house, reason being, my bro keep scolding and shouting at her which i guess, frightened her. this is crazy, if no one's gonna look after the bunnies, so me how? i've tonnes of projects, tutorials, revision and stuffs would i even have time? i just want nothing other than 48 hours a day.. or maybe i hope that i can split myself and be in school and be at home at the same time- but? no such things right?
this is going to be CRAZY.
when my parents "talked" to my bro just now, it ended up...... sounding very bad, i am going to die if mei and parents would leave me alone (some how alone, i dont count my other siblings) here in this crazy house.. i really feel like leaving home and staying else where, rent some place or wad and stay out of where im sitting now..
i could do NOTHING, but cry under my pillow..
what disappoints me is, my mei actually commented "you cry for wad? haiyo" very sad, though she was one of which i love the most, and she thinks everythings gonna be easy here. i knew no one could understand me, maybe my ah pui could console me, though he doesnt know what is going to happen and would not talk back to me.. and now im looking at my projs and assignments, very distracted, no direction now and i dont know how to continue.. im gonna die this sem..
no one can understand...
i wished everything can be over, probably the florescent lightning striking into my room and zap me to death on my bed (i want to die peacefully). and *poof* bye everyone.. everything would be perhaps solved cos i wouldnt get to see it being solved, i'll assume it will be.
as like what my title says - tell me what to do.
again, and ya, back to again, its coming back to bother me. and this time round i dont know what i should do. after escaping from the question from dad about me going to hk, i tried to make myself clear, i want to finish everything up, including that bond, which adds up to 7 more years. thats gonna be a long time. maybe too long, time wouldn't even wait and give me a chance to go or what so ever.
HOW? tell me HOW.
parents are gonna let me stay in SG (i guess). glad, but? what comes next.. the house, the rabbits, the maid, MY 2 IMMATURE older siblings.. im not indirectly implying that im more mature than them. but their thoughts are stupid and immature.. my bro - shout, shout, scold, scold and violence, i had to give in to him. my elder sis - with her insanity, i dont know what to do.. and now my maid? she dosent want to work in my house, reason being, my bro keep scolding and shouting at her which i guess, frightened her. this is crazy, if no one's gonna look after the bunnies, so me how? i've tonnes of projects, tutorials, revision and stuffs would i even have time? i just want nothing other than 48 hours a day.. or maybe i hope that i can split myself and be in school and be at home at the same time- but? no such things right?
this is going to be CRAZY.
when my parents "talked" to my bro just now, it ended up...... sounding very bad, i am going to die if mei and parents would leave me alone (some how alone, i dont count my other siblings) here in this crazy house.. i really feel like leaving home and staying else where, rent some place or wad and stay out of where im sitting now..
i could do NOTHING, but cry under my pillow..
what disappoints me is, my mei actually commented "you cry for wad? haiyo" very sad, though she was one of which i love the most, and she thinks everythings gonna be easy here. i knew no one could understand me, maybe my ah pui could console me, though he doesnt know what is going to happen and would not talk back to me.. and now im looking at my projs and assignments, very distracted, no direction now and i dont know how to continue.. im gonna die this sem..
no one can understand...
i wished everything can be over, probably the florescent lightning striking into my room and zap me to death on my bed (i want to die peacefully). and *poof* bye everyone.. everything would be perhaps solved cos i wouldnt get to see it being solved, i'll assume it will be.
left my shadow @12:12 AM
0objections
0objections